The first step to listening better is to recognize the fact that you don’t. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you really hearing what others are saying? Or are you only passively listening?
- Are you focused on their words? Or are you thinking about what you will say next?
- Are you putting yourself in the shoes of the other person? Or are you only interested in meeting your own objectives?
- Do you ask a lot of questions? Or are you doing all of the talking?
- Are you hearing what they are really saying? Or are you too colored by your own perceptions, judgments and filters?
This last question is critical. If you are honest, you will most likely begin to see that your filters are getting in the way of communication. By recognizing that you even possess these filters, you can become more aware when they begin to color your interpretations. This allows you the choice to set them aside so you can create an effective opening to listen.
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