Writers can find inspiration anywhere. Because I write mainly about workplace environments and company culture, I turn to a fairly conventional source- the business sections of the newspaper. There’s usually something in every issue that gets me wondering. This week a business customs column inspired me to wonder about “what’s not spoken’.
Let me explain. In the column a reader asked what to do about cubicle-mates who participate so loudly on conference calls that he or she is seriously distracted. Thrilled to see a question so directly related to the types of interpersonal challenges I see as an Ombudsman, I raced to read the answer. Boy, I was disappointed.
The author offered these suggestions, which are reasonable but certainly don’t promote communication:
Ask your supervisor to tell everyone to be more aware of noise
Ask your supervisor to relocate you.
Listen to music as a diversion.
You see the problem? None of these strategies encourage collaboration. It’s almost implied that it wouldn’t be appropriate for the reader to make her colleagues aware of the situation or engage them in collaborative problem-solving. I wondered if there was a message in what wasn’t being suggested.
Here’s what I heard as the message: avoid talking = avoid conflict.
By not mentioning talking as an option for resolving things, the author is actually discouraging the use of talking. Talking directly to each other is still one of the best ways to solve problems, I think. Yet, the author chose to ignore that tool, saying “I prefer the path of least resistance whenever possible.’ Guess that means communication is the path of most resistance?
I bet many managers and employees across the country share a similar preference for avoidance and silence. The trouble with that stance is that old, unresolved conflicts eventually resurface, often at the most inopportune moments.
Don’t read me to say I think it’s wrong to ask for help to facilitate communications in sticky situations. I’m only saying that open discussion is a better first option.
Here’s my recommendation to the reader: Talk to each other.
Just like the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The quickest way to end a dispute or disagreement is to talk directly and honestly with those involved. Talk is such an effective yet inexpensive tool I wonder why people don’t do it more often.
Dina Lynch
